Two weekends ago Billy, Dad and I decided to go to Dad’s property up in Leadville. It was beautiful up there but Billy started to feel like he couldn’t breathe. We assumed it was being at 12,000 feet and he decided to tough the weekend out. He was pretty weak but he made the best of it. There are pictures of the trip on my facebook site if you are interested.
When we got back to town Billy was not getting better. On Monday he called to get a doctors apptointment and they told him to go to the ER. We checked in at 11:30 and withing minutes there were 5 or 6 doctors and nurses surrounding him like a swarm of bees completing EKGs, blood work, asking questions, etc. It was all very overwhelming and scary. About three hours later we haven’t heard anything and started to feel like he must be ok if they are ignoring us so we decided to go to the Roadhouse to celebrate when we were all done. About 30 minutes later the nurse came in and told us we were being sent to room428 for observation overnight. Sigh! Finally the doctors wandered in and explained we were staying overnight for observation which the nurse just informed us. We hung out a little longer in the ER before being escorted to room 428. Unfortunatley this was an older hospital so they weren’t private rooms like all the new hospitals. Billy was sharing a room with just as much family and friends as we had with no chairs in a tiny room. Hot and muggy.
I started calling people to watch the dogs so I could stay with Billy so maybe he would be less scared. It felt like everyone we knew came to visit. I sat in the bed next to Billy as everyone stood around us and we told the story of the weekend over and over again. My worries were draining me but I wanted to be strong for Billy. All of our friends and family said prayers with us which was great, at this point God is the only one that can fix Billy. Everyone left and me and Billy sat there watching tv for a while. A new nurse shift came in and the idiot made me leave to go sleep on a love seat that wasn’t even wide enough for my two legs to be on and it was slopped down, needless to say it was worse than sleeping on the floor. Every hour or so I went to check on him and make sure he was doing ok. During the night there was a fire alarm (no sound) but lights flashing everywhere. The fire men were in the hall at the elevator shaft so that was a huge distraction. All I needed was the hospital my husband was at to burn down. Apparently nothing tragic was happening so the firemen eventually left and a little before five in the morning I went back to sit with Billy.
Tuesday Billy’s parents came at 9am, his surgery was scheduled for 11am and they were supposed to take him away at 10am. The doctor came in and prepped Billy for his cardiac catherization at 10:45. Waiting on doctors for such a serious issues was not an easy task. If they aren’t going to come get you in 10 minutes they should just say I will be back. The cardiac catherization was very painful. Apparently they stick tubes up his femeral artery and vien to his heart and meausre the pressure in each section of his heart. This was very scary for Billy and I didn’t know what to do for him. I just tried to stay strong, as soon as he was taken to the operating room I lost it. Breakdown number one. My Dad, Aunt & Grams came to take me to eat, I only wish I would have requested a change of clothes but it was good to get out of the hospital. I was very distracted though, I wanted to hear what was going on from the doctor not some family members impression of what was going on. The doctor came in when he said he would and explained the numbers came back better than planned. This was good because we wouldn’t have to do the actual heart valve replacement surgery immediatley. Sigh of relief!
Billy had to lay flat and not move for six hours after the cath procedure which was miserable for him, he was in so much pain and they wouldn’t give him any pain meds. His parents and I were with him ALL day as he was in and out of it. I just wanted to take him home and rest by ourselves for a while, everyone was great, but I was tired, stressed and sick of everybody. I am sure everyone was sick of me too not wanting to miss anything that happened but Billy is important to me and I want him around for a long time. We sat there for 4 hours, I ordered Billy a turkey, mozarella sandwich, raspberry sorbet, fruit bowl, mashed potatoes, and 7 up. He couldn’t sit up to drink or eat so I helped him with the non-finger foods. Poor Billy, he just wanted to go home to his own bed too. The doctor finally came back and said we could go home but he needs to be watched in case the artery starts to bleed out. We arrived home at 9pm, how good it was to be home. The dogs were very careful with him which was good. The next three days we stayed home on the couch, I made sure he was comfortable as possible and had what ever he needed. He was getting restless so we decided to go on an outing everyday. Wednesday we went to the Grocery Mart, it was slow going and painful for him but it was good to get out. Now we have lots of junk food for the week. Thursday we went to Chik-fil-a with my aunt which was nice but these normal errands turned into big deals. He still feels winded most of the time and his leg is so stiff and sore. I felt horrible but again really couldn’t help him.
Friday I was finally able to keep my promise and take him to the Roadhouse for dinner. Our friend Kevin joined us and we had a great time. Saturday we went to church and then to the comedy club to see Larry Miller. Breakdown number two is now brewing. I have been holding in my worries all week and I decided to ask Billy if he cared if I got my wedding ring tattooed on my finger since I can’t wear my ring without my finger practically falling off after a few hours. His response… “maybe we should wait and see if I make it through this next surgery”. Hense breakdown number two. I go to a comedy club to buy tickets crying like a baby. What a fool I am. Larry Miller was great, he even came and said hi to me and tap my shoulder.
Sunday we went to a friends house to hang out and watch movies, it was a nice afternoon. Monday Billy called the doctor and scheduled the next heart test. It was an echocardiogram stress test. Basically they do an echo, he runs, they do another echo. Yesterday was Tuesday. I picked up Billy at work and we went to do the test. The cariologist there said his at rest pressures in his heart are ok but his exerted heart pressure are not. I believe she said the right ventrical does not speed up. Most people exercise and their heart speeds up to pump blood through the body faster. Billy exercises and the one chamber of his heart does not speed up which is a problem. Apparently replacing the valve will not fix this problem. It sounded like basically it is a heart defect which cannot be fixed. And I thought the valve replacement surgery was bad… guess I was wrong, a bad heart is way worse than a valve replacement. Now all the worries of the replacement seem silly and minor compared to this.
All we are thinking is heart transplant. Crap! I can’t get that out of my head. Don’t get me wrong, the doctor NEVER said transplant so don’t freak out like I did. No fix is what made us jump to that conclusion. We will have a consultation with cardiologists in the next week but until then it is sit and wait. Billy still can’t catch his breath but I guess he is ok for the time being. Breakdown number three hasn’t occured yet, I feel at peace for this moment, I have faith God can fix Billy’s heart. I pray for him all day to fix Billy’s heart. I am sure breakdown number three will come soon but for right now I am ok.
I thank all our family and friends who have been so supportive and offered prayers and services to get us through this.
I will keep everyone updated as we hear new things, I am hoping for a second and third opinion. A bad heart is not acceptable right now.